Shh.. Mommy STOP...

January 8, 2014 at 12:57pm

PublicFriendsOnly MeCustomClose FriendsUniversity of Houston-Clear LakeSee all lists...kv jyotipuraminlawsManipal Institute of TechnologyHouston, Texas AreaFamilymanipal n mithapur and mamemcamit vermaManipal Institute of TechnologyGo Back

Picture this.. To put punnu to bed I give her milk bottle and she drinks it while relaxing on her bouncer seat, which was for her as an infant but has now become her chair.. :)  I some times sing to her, while putting her to bed and it is almost a ritual.. almost I would say..

Me ( snuggling siya tight under her blanket , I start singing a lullabye to her):  " nanhi pari sonay chali... hawa dheeray aana......neend bharey..." ------and I am cut abruptly by Siya

Punnu (Shut eye while still drinking her milk, Gesturing index fingure on her lips) : Shhhh mommy... Shhhh...

Me(Zapped :O , with lower decsibles however curious mind, this time no words just tune.. :
Hmmmm.. hmmmm hmmmm..

Punnu ( wide eyed, almost stood up, looking straight into my eyes, polietly says ) : Stop Mommy.... Stop... Shhhhhh
and goes back on to drinking her milk and closing her eyes..!!!!

Only Lesson  I choose to take from this incident: She just needed a change of song... will try new one tommrow.. ;p   .

And NO.. I choose not to see it as my singing skills have worsed from bad to worse... ;p

ROFL...

Cheers
Havisha

Story of an APOOL (Apple)

feb 13 2014

Recently I had been to temple with Siya. There we were offered an apple as prasad ( symbol of blessings from deity). On seeing the apple, Siya got excited.

Siya (bright eyed and raised eyebrows ):," O Mommy, Look! Eets an Apool ". 

Me: "Yes darling, its an apple. good job." I responded. 

A by stander was listening to our conversation and I caught him looking and smiling. He tried making conversation with Siya.

The Man to Siya (smiling) : Hi Can I have your apple?

(Siya first shied away and buried her face in my shawl. Then slowly peeped out of it  )

Siya ( to the man,smiling) : ....Eets an Apool.

The man (encouraged by Siya's response, smiles back and continues) : Yes, right, its an Apooooooll... Can I have it?

Siya (steping out of my shawl, giggling, holds her apple infront of the man): Apool..... Eets an Apool..

The Man: Can I have it? Can I have your Apoool? ... ( looks at me) She is too cute.

Me: Thanks.

Siya ( interrupting) : O.. LOok..eets an Apooooooool.. 

The Man (still hoping for an answer from siya): Yaaaay... we have an apoool.. Its an Apoool.... Can I have your Apool?

Siya..( jumping in excitement ) : Yaaay.. eets an Apool... Look.. an Apool... 

This went on for 6 - 7 times. Probably more I guess..  However, I guess the 9th time.. conversation went like this:

Siya ( super excited, jumping and showing off her prized possesion) :..... Eets an Apool..Eets an Apoool (giggling)

The Man ( trying to hold a forced smile, looking straight at siya, says polietly yet firmly ): NO, IT'S A MANGO!!!!! ... ( and walks away, giving me a small goodbye nod )

ME: ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!! ... wondering if he will ever eat apples again, or will keep calling them Mangos for rest of his life.. haha

Love my little pumpkin. An APOOL LOVER... 

My preparation for school.. Punnu's school

9/2/2013

There is this so uncomfortable feeling…. a fear .. like the first day of school... as the day goes by and evening approaches butterflies in my stomach take a roaring flight.. my heart seems to skip a beat every now and then.. my mind is only getting more and more restless… and my heart  rate slowly getting out of control… my breaths are getting deeper and longer with every passing minute.. trying to get my nerves in control of my mind…. however, my heart seems to be getting better of them!

I look away from the forms I am filling .. and there she is …the most wonderful, amazing , beautiful, loving, energetic, smiling, bubbly, enthusiastic, naughty, picky, creature  I have ever come across… Siya Pranavya.. playing gleefully with her Snowy and bow bow …hopping… and I mean literary hopping constantly…  and suddenly out of no where  rushing and planting a kiss, either on my knees,or legs, or feet, or arms, or face, or hands, toes, back, fingers and then  rushing away as fast as she had arrived … giggling all the way through.…!!

With a deep sigh I get back on the forms I am filling… name of baby, mothers name, fathers name, allergy information, emergency contact, doctors name , birth information, doctors letter, ….uniform selection. Blah this, blah that.. pay here, pay there.. sign here and initial there… And so on.. yes my baby is starting school… time has flown by and I have not even realized that my little caterpillar has entered a new phase.. ready for social interaction to meet the world, face them..find her challenges, overcome her shyness , and see a new world waiting for her to chime in..

I admit I am little upset though, actually a lot anxious, took to tennis court with Suyog so that I get distracted.. and… it did work.. !!.. gotcha .. I finally had it under control.. .. well..atleast that is what I thought … little did I know.. with evening turning into night  my nerves were out of control…. My anxiousness had grown 10 fold… and as I was getting sucked in this swamp of anxiousness, I hear,  ” mum-mum”…there she was.. looking up to me pulling my dress and saying..  “mum-mum” . Siya has learnt to communicate regarding her basic needs in life.. Mum- mum is just one of them…meaning I am hungry..  

I feed her one thing… but she does not want it .. so I try something else..this time I get a compliment she takes a bite and goes… “ Ummmmmmmmm” … Ah! Finally she liked something.. I was just thinking that and I hear “Baaashhh”  ( meaning enough in Hindi .. and …also meaning I had enough of this, get me something else ….. in her language ) .. after some time her dad feeds her (note this is third preparation..) and this time.. she wants it.. because she thinks its what her dad is having.. end result we managed to get her to eat something… Mission accomplished..  !!!! Battle WON at least for tonight.

As I was celebrating this little success of ours, those anxious thoughts creeped right back in.. I am sending my daughter to school from tomorrow.. I am not sure if she will eat .. I am not sure if they will be as persistent.... I am not sure if she will like it.. I am not sure how she will feel. I am not sure how she will adjust.. I am not sure how teachers are going to be.. I am not sure if she will get bullied.. what about the language.. oh she is so young.. she cant even talk, she is all of 19 months! I am not sure of so many darn things.. gosh I feel so frustrated within…

hush… hush.. baby… I swing her to sleep.. and she holds on to me tight.. that, never wud let u go grip.. ya ,that is, that is tight .. here was my beautiful angel asleep, in deep sleep, unaware of what tomorrow morning holds for her…  and my battle with my thoughts just became unbearable… I broke down.. sometime letting those tears out is good.. its like emptying the vessel so that you can start all over again..glad suyog was with me...

Get to think of it.. it was a conscious decision to put her to school.. she clearly asked for more interaction more playing time more activities.. she showed signs of clear boredom sometimes .. but was all fun and chirpy when taken out, made to do things, got excited seeing other people, specially kids. With nanny system that I was doing till now..  even though my baby was in a safer environment all she was learning was, how to operate a TV remote! 

My mind knows all this emotional commotion is just a phase , well so does my heart…

But that does not help.. it still is so griped with fear , with anxiety ,with sadness, with confusion, with anger .. its so frustrating.. ..I feel the sting even though I feel this is the best decision for her right now.. I hope n pray, this is something I would never regret… The only thing I worry about now, is her language.. atleast that is what I think as of NOW.. I am sure I will come up with something new to worry about as the days pass by in school..  for now.. just thought of penning down my thoughts to vent my heart out.. 

Wrapping my day with a hope of a better day at school tomorrow for punnu.. 

Sigh..

Havisha

"CHILD IS THE FATHER OF MAN" ... Rightly so..

Aug 22nd 2012

Picture this.. ….. Nanaaa… stop… STOP .. don’t go THERE..!!!!!!

“THERE”, could be any of these… behind the sofa,.. under the table…. over the edge of the bed… kitchen floor… hall walk way… bath room floor …laundry room.. Closet floor… and so on.. it could be anything thing you can lay your eyes on .. and she….. her crawling knees and curious hands ….. :)

She has been trying to crawl under my breakfast table and I have been stopping her by airlifting her to safety ( at least that is how I see it ) She however sees it otherwise.. I air lift her back to hall saying “ NOooooooo” long enough so that she understands what I am emphasizing.. but somehow nothing gets registered.. she starts crawling back slowly towards the same location…and ….half way though… she gets air lifted and hears NOOOOOOoooooooo again… ( this time little longer and louder than the previous one)…The moment I place her back on carpet ….. she looks at me, gives me her gummy wide grin and starts off again to her mentally preset destination , this time with little speed added to her crawling .. my funny lil darling.. thinks she can beat me in the chase, if she crawls faster !!!! .. :)

Also,..... she tries to stand up ……taking support of anything she can get hold off and that can take her weight……. example sofa seat, crib railings, chair base, table top, mom or dads shoulder…You see... she has just, learnt to crawl.. and I already see her pushing herself to the next level .. trying to stand.. and walk.. !!!!!! Madame has hurt herself multiple times by now trying to do so…however this does not make her stop or dissuade her from trying to stand up again.. or try the whole thing again.. !!!

……I love her spirit….the persistence and challenging self to beyond her limits …… may be this is due to the fact that she is still a baby ……unaware and untouched by all the fears of the world……this made me wonder how fearless we are when we are born!!!!!.. and how fearful we become as we grow up..!!!!! how we choose to believe we can do this and not that …and set our limits..!!!!

I see my 7 month old and she puts me to shame ....she does not give up.!!!!.(touchwood) .. she does what her heart tells her to do.. Irrespective of what the world is saying.... Wow!!!! what a lesson to be learnt.. …She so teaches me..... how justfollowing your heart or your dream can be so easy.... only if you are persistent and are focused in what u want to do and where u want to go…and you don’t worry about the world ......all you care about is your goal…!!!!

Persistence..... fearlessness... challenging self every minute … qualities that are so freely given to us by nature , how we lose it as we grow up. I hope and pray, as she grows up, I as a parent, do not end up diluting this spirit of hers … by saying .. NO don’t do this .. NO don’t do that… you CAN’T do this .. you SHOULDN”T do that.. I hope….. instead …God helps me instill in her sense of judgment of what to do and what not to……as I know if she chooses she can do it all ( right or wrong) , we all can…!!!!

…. Darling Punnu .. you have become my teacher in this phase of life ...you are my inspiration.....I hope to get back on track regarding my dreams ( I withdrew myself from) and also while at it..hope to fulfill my promise to you as a parent.. I love you and love this phase of my life..... hope readers feels the same way and get inspired for chasing their dream...following their heart ....

GOD bless you, Siya Pranavya, now and forever.. !!!

Cheers

Havisha

When is Forgiveness a virtue ?

When is forgiveness really a virtue .... or is it something we have created out of mear weakness.... when we know we can do nothing about the situation.... but bear it..??!!!!!!

Its amazing how you keep unraveling about yourself as you add layers to your age.. I blame on age... my this recent realization :)

I realized in every messed up situation I had to face.. I chose to ignore it and kept quite.... shut my eyes close and walk past it as if it did not exist.. .. to call a spade a spade .. and not ignore it ...when families are involved is a toughie... and I proved weak in doing so.. I chose to bear it and ignore it... and cover it with so called "forgive and forget".... and not only me I am sure there will be so many others who would have felt this situation in their lives....

 In every sour situation life threw at me ...I thought.... I had forgiven everyone and moved on.. but fact was..I really had not.. I had not forgiven anyone.. till date, I am holding on to the pain which shows up every time I meet these situations/people... 

Now the point here is not, who all did it... what happened and stuff.. point here is my own realization regarding how I had unknowingly held on to so much hurt and pain internally and kept it bottled up for so long that it had started to bother my external life ...I realized that ignoring situations, had lead me to where I was today.. things had started to bother me and I was forced to think about my own liberation.. I had to.... had to ....find, how to get out of it...

At this junction a thought flashed..may be I should truly forgive ... but then again...... I wasnt sure.. if this really would be called forgiveness????.... ......  I felt it would be running away ....AGAIN.. ....................since I had no other option but to live with it... its like trying to shove things under the carpet... carpet of "forgiveness"...

I realized .....Forgiveness as a virtue ... ONLY when you have full control over a situation, where tables have been turned, in your favor this time ...and its then you choose not to hurt those who had hurt you in past... that is when it is a virtue... In every other case..... where one has not experienced this opportunity, its as I said earlier,... shoving things under the carpet, since you can do nothing about it..and hence are trying to console yourself by saying you have forgiven..... .

After a lot of pondering I came to conclusion that,  FORGIVENESS IS A VIRTUE , RARELY ... as its situation dependent... and most of the time is just... a fake version of it.... it is being a coward...

I hope and wish, we all get a chance to experience forgiveness as  a "Virtue" .. and not just a fake version of it...which we so live our day to day lives...

cheers
Havisha

Media and Women in Indian politics

Its a nice bright sunny morning and I sit to enjoy my hot cup of ginger tea.. and out of habit open web page to check the news on TOI. The head lines that caught my eyes had 2 women in administration playing dirty politics..

Mamta banerjee as usual threating .. and mayawati as usual trying to immortalize herself by making several status of herself. I am glad she is restricted only to UP had it been the world .. in US instead of status of liberty it would have been Mayawati standing on top of elephant and holding a flag asking for reservation all around the world.

Mrs Sushma swaraj ( Oppose oppse what ever the other party says irrespective of fact if its good for nation or not) , hema malini ( just sit in parliament and see if she can find a good match for her Esha) , Jaylaitha (Make tamil as International language) , jaya prada (Sorry mam last I heard you speak was when amar singh was hospitalized dont know what else to put to your credit besides being amar singh supporter), jaya bacchan ( Mam you do speak a lot, sarcasm sarcasm and sarcasm, but not even once have we heard you spk about what is your contribution in parliament, ), Mamta banerjee (curse for calcutta, who has zero business acumen required for the state), Mayawati (when  thousand headed cobra , thousands in number, die one mayawati was born) .. few names that are proping up.. One who tops the list, sadly is none other, than our ever so dormant, ribbon cutting president, Pratibha Patil...As a women, I feel ashamed of above mentioned names, Sp our POLITICAL DECORATIVE PIECE Mrs Partibha Patil.. Some one please please ask her..MADAM, AAP KARATI KYA HAIN ???? 

By naming all these I only have one question,.. what on earth happened to making of ladies like, Rani laxmi bai, sarojni naidu, was it just a phase and India is no longer capable of making such women of susbtance ?? ON second thought,  I am sure these still exist.. but TRP hungry media is only highlighting area where political parties want them to focus... news is no longer making public aware .. its about what gossip will sell and for how much.. what drama will pull more audience.. and how spicy can you make it.. SAD...

I personally feel women are a superior being.. at emotional and mental level... we have capability to survive   multiple scenarios compared to men... and this I feel makes it even more important for a women to be more perfect in her approach and dealings and what she teaches her sons and daughters... It is sad to see women getting selfish in there personal levels and leading the county to destruction.. men in national and international history have proved innumnerable times how they create destruction.. like land accusitons , trying to destroy one whole sect of plp( jews), religious manuplations etc etc... but now a days I see women making sure they are not left out.. and have started selling nation for their personal gains or interests. and sadly enough all these women in political arena seem to be following this route..

I am ashamed of these ladies.. even though being  born in such a rich and beautiful hertiage bearing country like India they chose to downgrade themselves.. shame be on them.

Free thinker
Havisha

WHY anna hazare is not mahatma gandhi..!!!

totally agree with this article could not have put it together better than this...
the article goes as such...

Anna Hazare is NO Mahatma Gandhi. Here's why

Any people's movement without a well-defined ideology and organised structure will always lead to chaos and anarchy, says Dr Abhijit Vaidya, founder of Arogya Sena

My first encounter with Anna Hazare was when I was requested by veteran trade union leader Dr Baba Adhav to come to Ralegan Siddhi as a doctor to examine Hazare on the 13th day of his first notable hunger strike in 1998. At that time, his relative and a close associate showed me packets of glucose and electrolyte powder, which he was giving to Hazare everyday, and asked me whether the quantity was sufficient. 

This came as a shock to me since I was familiar with the Gandhian way of satyagraha and fasting as my own father and my two maternal uncles were freedom-fighters.

Since then, other than two public events, I have not had any contact with Hazare and I don't know if he still continues this practice.

But our objections to the Hazare phenomenon are more ideological in nature. Here I must state that we strongly condemn his arrest which was utterly undemocratic. The corrupt Congress government has made a series of blunders and it has prepared a solid ground for the Hazare phenomenon. We must appreciate also the unexpected mass support he has got as the masses are following non-violent methods of protest.

'Sentimental weakness of our people was exploited'

But Hazare is being used symbolically and shrewdly by Arvind Kejriwal, Prashant Bhushan and Kiran Bedi -- who are known as Team Anna or the self-proclaimed "civic society" representatives of 120 crore Indians. 

Kejriwal is now being projected online as the youth leader of India and a competitor to Rahul Gandhi (without daring to enter electoral politics and challenging the present political system through constitutional means). This trio started this show at the right time, when sentiments of the common man against corruption had reached a boiling point and they were waiting to come out on the streets against this menace. 

But the Indian mind is spiritual and requires a messiah to guide it. This very sentimental weakness of our people was cleverly exploited by Kejriwal with the help of the media, some industrialists, builders and even the Sangh Parivar, which was happy to accept Anna as the 'second Mahatma Gandhi'. This same Parivar, which has always justified Mahatma Gandhi's assassination, is today seen wearing Gandhi caps and swirling the tricolour instead of their saffron flags.

This whole show reminds me of Aamir Khan's movie Peepli Live. When the media gave massive coverage to Anna's first prematurely aborted phase of fast, nobody even bothered about the death of Swami Nigamanand, who died on the 64th day of his fast against the mine mafia. 

'Hazare has no political or economic ideology'

Hazare is neither bothered about these facts nor does he have the intellectual capacity to understand the intricacies and implications of so many things. He is too happy with this unexpected status of the 'second Mahatma Gandhi' being bestowed upon him. Corruption is a disease of the human mind as well as the political and economic system. Hazare has no political or economic ideology, he has no faith in any organisation, his approach is too individualistic and shows disregard, maybe out of ignorance, for the Constitution framed by Dr BR Ambedkar. 

On November 25, 1949, in his historic speech, Dr Ambedkar warned of three possible dangers to our democracy -- social and economic inequalities, the use of unconstitutional ways and hero-worship. 

Anna has never talked against poverty (77 per cent Indians have a monthly income of less than Rs 600 as per the Dr Arjun Sengupta report), malnourishment (20 lakh children die per year as per Lancet), farmers' suicides (2.5 lakh in the last 10 years as per journalist P Sainath), rising inflation adding to underfed population (labourers with monthly family income of Rs 5,050 can afford to have only 1,100 calories in their diet, which is half of the calorie based definition of poverty as per Arogya Sena's survey), deadly privatisation of education depriving the poor of the basic right of education (as per the Samajwadi Adhyapak Sabha) etc. 

The only thing he has done is support Raj Thackeray, shower praises on Narendra Modi (which he withdrew latter) and give a certificate to Sharad Pawar. Hazare has received a large amount of government funds for his village, he has used government vehicles and accepted the security cover provided by the government (in the past he has had Z category security). 

'Gandhi believed in a wider political ideology'

This is why Hazare can't be compared to Mahatma Gandhi and his movement can't be labelled the 'second freedom struggle'. Mahatma Gandhi always believed in a sharper and wider political ideology, in building a strong organisation and even a parallel leadership. Any people's movement without a well-defined ideology and organised structure will always lead to chaos and anarchy. 

It would fizzle out ultimately, leaving the masses disappointed. As far as the label of 'second freedom struggle' is concerned, we must not forget that India's second freedom struggle was the struggle lead by Jayaprakash Narayan against Emergency.

Indian democracy is not so weak, though we require a strong Lokpal to strengthen it further. But this does not mean that the draft made by Team Anna (actually only three or four people), which has in its ambit the prime minister but deliberately excludes the media, the corporate sector and NGOs, should be imposed upon Parliament. 

Parliament should be challenged constitutionally, not by fomenting public sentiment. Fifty thousand or one lakh people, predominantly comprising the non-voting middle class, is not India. The hidden danger of the Lokpal becoming a super PM and threatening democracy should also be considered. More the number of unelected offices, more the threats to a democracy.

Does Hazare have the guts?'

And how can Team Anna portray the Lokpal as the last saviour of the people reeling under the menace of corruption? How is it going to stop havaldars and talathis and babus from accepting bribes? They have not stopped accepting bribes shamelessly even while Anna was fasting. 

Are we not going to address other forms of corruption like tax evasions, black money, wooing voters during elections etc? What really is needed to stop corruption is a change of the political and economic system and the moral catharsis of our society. 

Does Hazare have the guts to ask the people to take an oath about not indulging in any form of corruption? Does he have the guts to call off his agitation if he finds out that people supporting his anti-corruption movement themselves are corrupt, like the Hindi film industry which thrives on black money and sometimes on underworld funds? 

Mahatma Gandhi had the guts to call off his agitation when angry protestors burnt alive some policemen at Chauri Chaura, because he thought his followers were not prepared for real satyagraha. The principles of satyagraha insist upon sadhanshuchita (purity of means and ways). Principles of satyagraha also insist on tolerance. Hazare's so-called followers have become so intolerant that anyone not supporting him is labelled a supporter of corruption. Why can't Hazare teach them how to be tolerant (and sensible) to anyone expressing a different opinion?  

Dr Abhijit Vaidya is the founder of Arogya Sena, a national trustee of Rasthra Seva Dal and the national president of Socialist Yuvajan Sabha, the newly formed youth wing of Socialist Party - India