When is forgiveness really a virtue .... or is it something we have created out of mear weakness.... when we know we can do nothing about the situation.... but bear it..??!!!!!!
Its amazing how you keep unraveling about yourself as you add layers to your age.. I blame on age... my this recent realization :)
I realized in every messed up situation I had to face.. I chose to ignore it and kept quite.... shut my eyes close and walk past it as if it did not exist.. .. to call a spade a spade .. and not ignore it ...when families are involved is a toughie... and I proved weak in doing so.. I chose to bear it and ignore it... and cover it with so called "forgive and forget".... and not only me I am sure there will be so many others who would have felt this situation in their lives....
In every sour situation life threw at me ...I thought.... I had forgiven everyone and moved on.. but fact was..I really had not.. I had not forgiven anyone.. till date, I am holding on to the pain which shows up every time I meet these situations/people...
Now the point here is not, who all did it... what happened and stuff.. point here is my own realization regarding how I had unknowingly held on to so much hurt and pain internally and kept it bottled up for so long that it had started to bother my external life ...I realized that ignoring situations, had lead me to where I was today.. things had started to bother me and I was forced to think about my own liberation.. I had to.... had to ....find, how to get out of it...
At this junction a thought flashed..may be I should truly forgive ... but then again...... I wasnt sure.. if this really would be called forgiveness????.... ...... I felt it would be running away ....AGAIN.. ....................since I had no other option but to live with it... its like trying to shove things under the carpet... carpet of "forgiveness"...
I realized .....Forgiveness as a virtue ... ONLY when you have full control over a situation, where tables have been turned, in your favor this time ...and its then you choose not to hurt those who had hurt you in past... that is when it is a virtue... In every other case..... where one has not experienced this opportunity, its as I said earlier,... shoving things under the carpet, since you can do nothing about it..and hence are trying to console yourself by saying you have forgiven..... .
After a lot of pondering I came to conclusion that, FORGIVENESS IS A VIRTUE , RARELY ... as its situation dependent... and most of the time is just... a fake version of it.... it is being a coward...
I hope and wish, we all get a chance to experience forgiveness as a "Virtue" .. and not just a fake version of it...which we so live our day to day lives...
cheers
Havisha
Its amazing how you keep unraveling about yourself as you add layers to your age.. I blame on age... my this recent realization :)
I realized in every messed up situation I had to face.. I chose to ignore it and kept quite.... shut my eyes close and walk past it as if it did not exist.. .. to call a spade a spade .. and not ignore it ...when families are involved is a toughie... and I proved weak in doing so.. I chose to bear it and ignore it... and cover it with so called "forgive and forget".... and not only me I am sure there will be so many others who would have felt this situation in their lives....
In every sour situation life threw at me ...I thought.... I had forgiven everyone and moved on.. but fact was..I really had not.. I had not forgiven anyone.. till date, I am holding on to the pain which shows up every time I meet these situations/people...
Now the point here is not, who all did it... what happened and stuff.. point here is my own realization regarding how I had unknowingly held on to so much hurt and pain internally and kept it bottled up for so long that it had started to bother my external life ...I realized that ignoring situations, had lead me to where I was today.. things had started to bother me and I was forced to think about my own liberation.. I had to.... had to ....find, how to get out of it...
At this junction a thought flashed..may be I should truly forgive ... but then again...... I wasnt sure.. if this really would be called forgiveness????.... ...... I felt it would be running away ....AGAIN.. ....................since I had no other option but to live with it... its like trying to shove things under the carpet... carpet of "forgiveness"...
I realized .....Forgiveness as a virtue ... ONLY when you have full control over a situation, where tables have been turned, in your favor this time ...and its then you choose not to hurt those who had hurt you in past... that is when it is a virtue... In every other case..... where one has not experienced this opportunity, its as I said earlier,... shoving things under the carpet, since you can do nothing about it..and hence are trying to console yourself by saying you have forgiven..... .
After a lot of pondering I came to conclusion that, FORGIVENESS IS A VIRTUE , RARELY ... as its situation dependent... and most of the time is just... a fake version of it.... it is being a coward...
I hope and wish, we all get a chance to experience forgiveness as a "Virtue" .. and not just a fake version of it...which we so live our day to day lives...
cheers
Havisha
No comments:
Post a Comment